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© 2003 Red Wolf %57%65%62 %44%65%73%69%67%6E — All rights reserved
Chase 01: Fenced

Fencedby Red Wolf

Heart pounding in his chest, the man ran through the darkened streets. Bored local teenagers had taken out the lights long ago and never been replaced. Why replace something that will only be broken again? Utility apathy at its best.

Slumped against a graffiti covered wall, he tried to suck the freezing London air into his burning lungs. He couldn't stay still for long, it seemed as if he'd been running for hours, his pursuers were relentless.

As his breathing slowed, he could hear something over his own pulse throbbing in his ears. A low steady beat, more felt than heard.

He didn't know what possessed him to head into an industrial area in the middle of the night, there was nothing open, no one around. He was alone. Well, aside from whoever was into the music and that meant people. Maybe he could steal a car, get mobile and put some serious distance between himself and his pursuers.

Running to the end of the street he saw the old church. Long abandoned as the residents were forced out by business, it had been forced to close its doors and was now rented out. Tonight it had been taken over for a rave, driving bass filled the air and strobing lights spun rainbow colours through the stained glass windows.

The open gateway beckoned to him, he staggered to the church door and disappeared in the crowd.
15 Minute Ficlets — picture #13

Published Babble Horde — 26.05.2004
Published FictionPress — 27.05.2004

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Comments

Vivid! I like the idea of a church thus transmuted. I've missed your writing over the past couple of days — hope you're well? — via LiveJournal — posted by Willa at 27.05.2004 21:42 AEST | #
Many thanks.

I'm fine, just easing off a little on the writing. I've got a Ripper Ficathon story to write, I got exactly what I wanted as an assignment and my accursed muse has clapped its hands to its ears and is running about singing la, la, la at the top of its voice. That and being distracted by other challenges.

If it keeps this up I'm going to see if it's possible to scoop it out through my ear with a spoon, let's see what it thinks of that — via LiveJournal — posted by Red Wolf at 27.05.2004 21:43 AEST | #
Loved the way you've written this. I could really feel the isolation the the pursued man. London is scary at night if you're on your own — via LiveJournal — posted by Grandmum at 27.05.2004 22:32 AEST | #
Thanks. I wanted the scary, pleased it worked — via LiveJournal — posted by Red Wolf at 27.05.2004 22:33 AEST | #
Hmm, interesting. Dark, gives a feel of foreboding. Very very good — via LiveJournal — posted by heckthecat at 27.05.2004 22:34 AEST | #
Thank you. Pleased the darkness came through — via LiveJournal — posted by Red Wolf at 27.05.2004 22:34 AEST | #
I'm looking forward to seeing how this turns out. Who is pursuing him? Will he escape? Why are they after him? So many questions. ;) — via LiveJournal — posted by Laridian at 27.05.2004 22:35 AEST | #
I was planning to follow it up with the main 15 Minute Ficlets challenge and make it a two parter. Now to get my finger out... — via LiveJournal — posted by Red Wolf at 27.05.2004 22:36 AEST | #
Brilliant imagery. I must re-read it. It sticks to you and the imapct it has is amazing. Great job, two thumbs up! Ale — via LiveJournal — posted by Death's sweet embrace at 27.05.2004 22:37 AEST | #
Many thanks. I'm slowly learning that most of the time, less is more and the reader fills in the blanks with their own monsters, instead of reading my overly wordy waffle — via LiveJournal — posted by Red Wolf at 27.05.2004 22:58 AEST | #
It is good. I rather like original ficlets that link together, It’s tougher imo to do so effectively, but it's also a good way to explore an idea / world. I shall now read your other, based on the weekly word — via LiveJournal — posted by I like bubble tea at 28.05.2004 19:35 AEST | #
I had the urge to write something original. Thanks for reading — via LiveJournal — posted by Red Wolf at 28.05.2004 19:36 AEST | #
strobing lights spun rainbow colours through the stained glass windows

I really like that bit of imagery — via LiveJournal — posted by Elizabeth Culmer at 05.06.2004 11:25 AEST | #
Many thanks. It seemed a shame not to reference the church's past — via LiveJournal — posted by Red Wolf at 05.06.2004 11:35 AEST | #
I really like the way you've paced this; I get a real sense of the main character's urgency and quiet desperation. I'm also wondering why he's being chased — via LiveJournal — posted by Chessie at 05.06.2004 11:37 AEST | #
As you've since read the sequels to this, you'll know why he was being chased. I left it this way so you'd feel sympathy for the man's plight. Thanks for reading — via LiveJournal — posted by Red Wolf at 05.06.2004 11:39 AEST | #
Wow, very... mysterious to put it plainly. This is very well done. I’d like to invite you to a writing forum. I hope you enjoy the community and share some of your interesting works — via FictionPress — posted by LifeUnlived at 09.06.2004 16:51 AEST | #
Here's hopin' ye don't consider me a pain in the ass after a while, for reviewing so much, both here and at FP.

But... damn. I've always considered myself a reasonably good writer, but I very much envy your talent at description (always my weak point), keeping it short, and being so skilled at the macabre and/or suspenseful. You're too good. :) — LiveJournal — posted by IrishVampire13 at 27.11.2004 14:38 AEST | #
You're not a pain. Feedback is always good. I'm just surprised you've tackled a year's worth of writing in one hit.

I'm working on description, it's getting better over time. Every time I read something I like, I try and remember how it worked and learn from it. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.

The short is due to challenges. I spent three years not writing due to an absent muse, got an LJ account when an invite was on offer (only so I could leave proper signed comments on a friend's account) and stumbled over challenge communities.

It seems the muse likes challenges, which is why there's a lot of drabbles and time limited fiction here.

You'd probably get a kick out of 15 Minute Ficlets and maybe Word of the Day 100 — LiveJournal — posted by Red Wolf at 27.11.2004 14:41 AEST | #
You're not a pain.

Whew!

I'm just surprised you've tackled a year's worth of writing in one hit.

I'm surprised that you've responded to so many of my comments!

You'd probably get a kick out of 15 Minute Ficlets and maybe Word of the Day 100.

I actually joined 15 sometime last week, in the hopes that it'd kick my muse's ass into gear so I could get something done. No luck, yet, so I joined 100 today. Here's hopin' it helps, lol; thanks for the advice. I usually do pretty well with challenges and/or time limits, so when I find one that speaks to me, maybe my muse will quit pointing and laughing at me behind my back. :-D Hehe — LiveJournal — posted by IrishVampire13 at 27.11.2004 14:43 AEST | #
although there was a favoured version going around translations that predicted arnold schwarzenegger being eaten by a small terrier at the next full moon

Just as I thought. We're everyone's laughingstock because of that guy. Bleh. For the record, I didn't vote for him! Lol! — LiveJournal — posted by IrishVampire13 at 27.11.2004 14:44 AEST | #
That's actually one of mine, from Censure in the Darkness!verse. The quote box picks out quotes from a list at random, it's only 20 here, the one on my site is a couple of hundred and my Thunderbird Tagzilla quote list is about double that — LiveJournal — posted by Red Wolf at 27.11.2004 14:46 AEST | #
The quote box picks out quotes from a list at random

So far, I've seen some pretty damn good ones. I noticed the Pirates one ("Me? I'm dishonest...") just this morning; crazy coincidence, since I watched it last night. :-D — LiveJournal — posted by IrishVampire13 at 27.11.2004 14:47 AEST | #
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