by Red WolfHe was watching his mates play basketball in the alley when he heard the sound. He called out, but everyone else was too caught up in the game and hadn't heard. Shaking it off, he returned to the game.
The sound came again. A soft dragging scrape, whispering and echoing off the dumpsters. It raised the hair on the back of his neck and was really starting to get on his nerves.
Leaving his seat on an upturned milk crate, he walked towards the first dumpster. Nothing, but the sound came again, bouncing of the building walls and making it difficult to locate.
Checking the next dumpster again turned up nothing. He pushed the lid back further, its metal on metal squeal was ear piercing but not the whispered scraping, and looked inside. Garbage, but nothing that seemed to match the strange sound.
Walking around the industrial bin, he saw an old Chinese woman seated in the shadow of a rear door awning. She held a strop taut with her foot and was sharpening a large chef's knife. A cloth was laid out beside her, a dozen more knives awaiting her attention.
The boy saw nothing of this, his eyes riveted to the woman's unattended purse. He slid silently along the wall, keeping out of the woman's peripheral vision and snagged the purse in his fingertips.
Before he could run, the old woman uncurled from her labour and, with a speed belying her age, threw the knife in her hand. She resettled herself and returned to carefully sharpening the knives on the strop. The metal on leather making a gentle susurration, in sharp contrast to the boy's strangled gurgling as the blood poured from the knife wound in his throat.
15 Minute Ficlets — word #37: chilling
Published Babble Horde — 12.01.2004
Published FictionPress — 18.02.2004
Published deviantArt — 14.03.2004
Published nFiction — 02.06.2004
Published Wrasp.Net — 01.01.2005
fiction | horror | original fiction
holy shit, ur good! i like these, straight 2 the point, but nicly written. not 2 short, not 2 long. im off 2 read more of ur work. =D — via FictionPress
— posted by chainedfreedom at 19.02.2004 14:13 AEST | 
this is an amazing story, i really like the way you write, its very suspensful piece. really good job — via deviantART
— posted by erishon at 21.03.2004 19:38 AEST |
Many thanks, I'm glad you enjoyed it — via deviantART
— posted by Red Wolf at 21.03.2004 19:39 AEST |
That was a pretty kick ass short story. Do you have any longer ones? I just submitted a story myself (Not yet Complete). I am pretty new to the area but so far you have the best story I've read yet. Very good on descriptions and suspense — via FictionPress
— posted by David Mackinnon at 17.05.2004 12:07 AEST |
Yikes; shit, that was freaky. Good job! (Yes, I know I'm getting repetetive, but you are very good.) — which would apparently drive Wolf nuts — via FictionPress
— posted by IrishVampire13 at 23.07.2004 14:55 AEST |
Originality/Concept: 8
Grammar/Style: 8
Overall Rating: 7
This was a strange little story. It has no meaning or purpose for existing, but the fact that it exists nonetheless makes it impossible to dislike. Does that make sense? Trying to steal a woman's purse in an alleyway while she's sharpening knives? You deserve what you get. If he hadn't have done what I would've told him not to do had I been there, he'd still be alive. I wonder if you caught that reference to "Reservoir Dogs", Quentin Tarantino's genious debut into the world of filmmaking. Anyway, enough about him. Let's talk about Anathema Skin. The character reacted stupidly to the situation, which made him unlikable and not above the average horror movie non-main character. That is all that brings this otherwise quite, dare I say, perfect story down — via Wrasp.Net — posted by Sean Chase at 14.01.2005 14:35 AEST |
Grammar/Style: 8
Overall Rating: 7
This was a strange little story. It has no meaning or purpose for existing, but the fact that it exists nonetheless makes it impossible to dislike. Does that make sense? Trying to steal a woman's purse in an alleyway while she's sharpening knives? You deserve what you get. If he hadn't have done what I would've told him not to do had I been there, he'd still be alive. I wonder if you caught that reference to "Reservoir Dogs", Quentin Tarantino's genious debut into the world of filmmaking. Anyway, enough about him. Let's talk about Anathema Skin. The character reacted stupidly to the situation, which made him unlikable and not above the average horror movie non-main character. That is all that brings this otherwise quite, dare I say, perfect story down — via Wrasp.Net — posted by Sean Chase at 14.01.2005 14:35 AEST |
Originality/Concept: 8
Grammar/Style: 10
Overall Rating: 9
Originality: Very cool piece here.
Grammar/ Style: Didn't see anything that came at me, like some stories do. I like your style because you have a good flow. Sentence structure is nice. I would of liked to see what happened after, but you ended it with the death, which is cool also.
Overall: It was entertaining, had a little chuckle with the snaching of the purse. Don't ask — via Wrasp.Net — posted by Will at 14.01.2005 14:55 AEST |
Grammar/Style: 10
Overall Rating: 9
Originality: Very cool piece here.
Grammar/ Style: Didn't see anything that came at me, like some stories do. I like your style because you have a good flow. Sentence structure is nice. I would of liked to see what happened after, but you ended it with the death, which is cool also.
Overall: It was entertaining, had a little chuckle with the snaching of the purse. Don't ask — via Wrasp.Net — posted by Will at 14.01.2005 14:55 AEST |
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