Penis Closes Highway

The suspicious package that caused Interstate 75 and Daniels Parkway to be shut for more than an hour Monday was not an explosive pipe bomb — but rather wrapped-up plastic foot-long penis. Someone took construction-grade plastic, molded it into a penis and wrapped it with duct tape, said Lee County Sheriff's Chief Deputy Charles Ferrante. They wrote 'Happy Father's Day' on the duct tape... — via Warren Ellis